She had looked so incredibly cute.
I was locked in my room as a punishment for what I had done this day. If it hadn’t been for the lecture and the punishment itself (and the mark on Sharon’s arm of course) I wouldn’t have remembered what I had done at all.
I remembered thinking that she had looked incredibly cute when she smiled. In fact, I had started noticing little details about the girls in my class just recently that made them look incredibly cute. Sharon had a great smile. Hanna had a great habit of pulling strands of her hair from her eyes and securing them behind her ear. Vanessa gestured with her hands when she spoke. And all of them were starting to grow breasts and curves and it was almost impossible to think of anything else.
So, Sharon had smiled and while doing so she looked incredibly cute. After that it’s rather black but the next thing I remembered was how she slapped me across the chin and how she groaned in pain as she rubbed a red spot on her arm. A bite mark. A bite mark.
School punished me with detention and mom and dad punished me with curfew. I had deserved it. I really had.
I wished I could regret it because I knew it was wrong. You don’t just go bite people. Especially not after you’ve passed the age of two when you can get away with doing it because your teeth are itching. I’m thirteen and my teeth does certainly not itch anymore. But I didn’t feel any guilt or regret or remorse. And really, how could I when I couldn’t remember what had actually happened?
I stayed in my room for the rest of the day. There was no point in arguing about the punishment I had been given as I realized I deserved it. Freya came and scratched on my door after her dinner and I let her in. It was really a wonder she had climbed the stairs only to be with me. I knew it was hard on her hips and knees and that it required her every effort just to get up here. It made me happy, because it meant at least someone would care enough for me to fight. Even if it was just a stair.
She didn’t come with good news, though. I had known, of course, that the day when we would lose her crept upon us and that her pain got worse for each day that passed. I knew that she had been fighting for a long time to just make it through another day. I knew that she was getting sick and tired of just lying around, not having energy or capacity to do anything else. That she was bored and was starting to lose the will for life. And even so, the simple request of being put out of the misery was devastating. Her wise and loving eyes met mine in a sad and supplicant way. She knew that what she asked of me was more than she could really demand, but since I was the only one to really understand her, she had no other choice. She was done. It had finally become too much for her.
Only then did I vacate my room and downstairs to my parents. They were watching TV as if nothing spectacular had happened today at all. “Mom” I said, my voice nearly incapable of bearing the message it had been quested with.
“Mhm” she replied, not even bothering to turn her eyes from the screen and look at me.
Mom did turn her eyes towards me then and I could see how they were tearing up. Freya was as loved by my mother as she was by me, even if mom couldn’t talk to her like me. “What did you just say?”
“She just told me. She doesn’t have the will to keep fighting anymore. She’s giving up and she’d rather have it done quick and painless than extending it any further. She’s in so much pain!”
Mom started to cry and walked over to me to pull me in to a hug. She had never questioned the fact that I was speaking to Freya and I don’t know if she believed in it, but I understood that she knew that what I said right now was true. We needed to liberate Freya. We hugged and cried while dad called the vet and made an appointment for the next day.
That night I lifted Freya up in my bed and slept with one arm around her.
I opened my eyes and stretched my limbs. A cracking sound was heard from the joints of my bare arms. Trees rose in the air around me, making me realize I had woken up at a place far from my own bed. Moss was covering the ground next to the almost invisible redwood I was lying on. A small rock stabbed me in the back and I sat up to rub the sore spot where it had stung me.
I stood up and realized I was naked. It was dark around me and the moon was shining bright behind the tops of the firs and pines. My knees and palms were dirty, as if I had been crawling on the ground. A mouse hurried to safety, passing right before my bare feet. I was feeling completely lost and had no idea what caused me to be at this very spot right now. Still, I felt oddly at home here in the forest.
An old man’s voice, trailing and rasping, was heard through the night. ”Luna habet responsa” it said. I looked around, searching for the source of the voice and saw the back of a man further down the redwood path. He was walking in to the forest and the only thing I noticed of his appearance was the semi-long blonde hair curling down his neck and a physically well-built body. I recognized him even if I had never actually seen him before.
To my surprise I woke up in our garden the next morning. The sun was just rising which made me realize it was still early. My knees and palms were dirty and I was completely naked. This made me more embarrassed than confused and I hurried in to my room again, praying that no-one was awake yet.
Freya looked at me confused from my bed, wondering where I had gone and why I had left her. I wondered this too and just shook my head in confusion before putting some underwear on and lifting her down.
I even carried her down the stairs. My head was mixed with confusion over the sudden continuation of the otherwise well-known dream and the sadness of knowing we were just experiencing the last few hours of Freya’s life.
It was easy for the vet to put Freya out of her pain and struggles. All it took was an injection in her front leg and just minutes later Freya was gone. She didn’t fight it and she wasn’t scared but the emptiness she left in my heart was overwhelming. And the silence! After an entire life of sharing thoughts and silent conversations with her it was almost unbearable with the silence. The only thing to comfort me in that matter was that her final thought had been happy. “Thank you” she said before drifting off.
I shared another tearful hug with my mother, who was the one closest to understanding what I was going through.
A few hours later someone was at the front door. I was too much of a mess from losing Freya to get there to open. Jordan opened and I didn’t even bother glancing there to see who it was. I never got visitors anyway.
“I’d like to talk to Kevin, please” the man said. The voice! I recognized it immediately. It was the same trailing and rasping voice that had talked to me in my dreams for so long. I looked over at the door in surprise and nearly fell off the sofa. It was Brick, my biological father!
Dear readers. I know it’s been almost a month since I last updated this. I don’t know why, but for some reason I’m not really feeling Kevin. I lack the inspiration I need for his story, which is really a shame because he has a great story ahead of him. Hopefully University Life will give me a push in the right direction and make it easier for me to finish this. I want to update more regularly but it has been hard. Hopefully it’ll be better eventually.
I think I just wanted to say that I’m NOT giving up this story. I might just need more time in-between the updates and they will probably be shorter, somewhat like this.
Much love / FruHurricane